The Word Known As "Altruism"

It's day 120 of documenting 2025.

Yep! I'm typing this late...
And April 30 is today's date
Happy Wednesday, my friend 😊

Where do I start?
Oh! I know....
Altruism.
You know what the word means?
I didn't....until last night.
Then I realized....that word defined my very existence.

Before you think, 🤔
"What's this girl saying now?"
Let me explain.

I first heard the word, "altruism" in a song by Taylor Swift.
You know "Anti-Hero"?
The exact lyrics are:
Do you see my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism 🎶
Like some kind of congressman
Tale as old as time 🎵

If you haven't listened to the song before, I encourage you to do so.
It's says a lot behind the beats.
I say this because sometimes, I realize I'm the problem.
Then I remember Taylor's song and I just say to myself,
It's me...hi
I'm the problem...it's me

Anyways, I discovered what altruism meant last night.
For some reason, I was feeling very down...to the point of tears.
I called my closest friend but he was in class so he couldn't pick.
He said so in his text.
The image in my head was me calling him and just crying over the phone 😭
It didn't happen.

I just stared at the stars and let the tears overwhelm me till I let them fall down my face.
I couldn't fight them back.
My silent tears carried my voice to God....don't know if it qualified as prayer.
All that lasted for two minutes or so. And I got up and went inside.
Did I feel better? I guess so.

My dad was still awake so I connected to his data and went to YouTube.
Ready to doomscroll.
First search: Pain
Second search: Emotional pain
Then I watched a couple of shorts that said a thing or two on emotional pain.
Honestly can't remember what the videos said.
Then I stumbled on a video of a woman talking about altruism in a negative manner.

Hmm, what does that mean?
Let's check it out.
Last search: Altruism
The results exploded in my face 💥
I watched different shorts and downloaded Ted talks on "effective altruism".
(Haven't watched them yet tho 😐)

Basically, altruism means going out of your way to help others without expecting anything in return.
Sacrificing your time, effort and resources to help others at not benefit to you.

A particular video stood out.
I can't really remember the title but it talked about ways a narcissist person can exhibit altruism.
I was like, wow 😲
This sort of thing really happens!
What I learned is to be careful when a stranger is overly nice.
It may be that the person is playing nice to eventually be able to manipulate you.

I was conflicted.
Can't I be nice to others anymore?
I'm all about trying to help others and sometimes give up something of mine for the cause.
That makes me an extreme altruist.
According to the videos I watched, there's something wrong with that.
And I understand that argument.
Perfectly.

Being altruistic means you put the needs of others above yours.
You give more attention to others and less to yourself.
You spend your time, effort and sometimes money to help others.
Sounds like philanthropy, right?
It's not.
I watched a short video comparing the two.

The bad side of altruism, according to what I watched and in my own understanding is this:
You lose yourself.
You lose touch with who you are and your purpose is set behind.
If it continues, you cease to exist.
Sounds terrible, right? 😱
I think so too.

It's good to help others, when you're in the best position to.
Helping others and feeling happy...
Is that altruism as well?
Honestly, my friend...I don't know anymore.

All I know is, I finally understand my behavior towards others and the fact that it can have it's downsides.
At least it's better than egoism.
When one puts himself above others and doesn't give a hoot about how they feel.
That's totally not my style 😒

Come to think about it...
We're capable of being selfless and selfish.
I think, when it comes to personal development, you have to be selfish.
And when it comes to making the world a better place, being selfless is in order.
It's what I think tho....
Don't take my word for it.

Anyways, why was I feeling down last night?
To the point of thinking about crying over the phone...
Well, it was just the pressure.
Family issues,
Thoughts of leaving a lot of things behind,
The thought that I'm not strong enough, not good enough...

I had to let it out somehow...but one thing about me is that I like to fight back my tears.
When I want to cry, I start to think,
"don't let them see you cry...don't let them hear you cry".
Then I keep myself in check and blink back my tears.
That's how I fight em'.
But not always.

Let's get into headlines now....
I mean, highlights 😆
Quotes from the usual read by Martin Meadows.
Lemme say a few about this author.
Last night, I stumbled on another of his books as well.
It's called, "The Ultimate Focus Strategy".

It was like I finally found an answer to my focus problem.
I glanced through it last night and was blown away.
I'm definitely going to read and practice the strategies to the letter.
Cos' I need to learn how to focus.

Shout out to you, Mr Meadows.
Your books are a sensation!
All of them 📚
✅ Grit
✅ 365 Days With Self-discipline
✅ The Ultimate Focus Strategy
If I could find more of your books, I'd be very happy.

Okay, okay...
Back to the highlights.

365 Days With Self-discipline
📌 On Handling Interruptions To Your Routine

"Planning a variance, make it concrete, black and white, and specify exactly when the variance will end.
For example, instead of doing your regular gym routine while traveling through Europe, you commit to do twenty pushups every morning, and then as soon as you return home, resume your normal routine.
Quote by Tynan

"When you know about an approaching situation that’s likely to disrupt your routine, prepare yourself beforehand.
Think if there’s any way that you can
maintain your routine despite that situation, and if you can’t, come up with an alternative routine modified for the special circumstances.
Even if your best idea is not a great one, at least you’ll still be sticking to your routine in some way, and that will prevent you from losing it."

Fact 💯
Approaching situations...
Like the exam I wrote on Monday...which I stopped a lot of things to study for.
I even had to modify my routine and set new alarms.

But it's all done...and I don't think it will be business as usual.
I'm making some changes 😌
For now, it's time to draw the curtains on today's post.

A note to my friend 🎀
Hi there 👋🏼
I hope you're doing well where you are.
Never underestimate your abilities, you're stronger than you think.
Take care, okay?
I wish you well 💖
Thanks for reading!

If you've got extra time to read more posts, visit Documenting 2025.
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I'll see you there 😉

I'm Duon Ada.
I'm documenting 2025.
And I'll see you tomorrow
Ciao 💕