How Much Are You In Control?

It's day 51 of documenting 2025.

Another day in 2025.
Another chance to do what's right.
Another chance to keep going.

I was talking about consistency yesterday.
But sometimes, staying consistent is not so hard.
Okay, let me start like this.

In my opinion (IMO), being consistent means doing the same thing, over and over and over again.
Whether you see results or not.
Whether it works out or not.
Whether it pays you or not.
Being consistent involves sticking with something like an obsession.

Let's use an example here.
A business.
Say, affiliate marketing.
I watched a video of Alex Hormozi and he was talking about the first year of business.
Let me paraphrase what he said.
"When I start a new business, my first objective is to learn, not to earn.
I wouldn't concern myself with making profit first.
The first year is for learning what works and what doesn't, as well as coming up with the best way to serve my customer.
It's what I would obsess over."

Did you read that right?
The first year of business.
I can say it's the same for the first year of any venture.
A commitment to something.
A skill you want to develop.
A book you want to write.
The first attempts or first hundred tries or first 20 lessons.
They don't bring results or positive feedback immediately.

Okay, back to the business example.
There's a contact I have on Whatsapp and I view his status most of the time.
We rarely chat, but his status appears in my feed.
He would usually post his earnings from the affiliate marketing business.
Then convince the viewer to opt in for his premium affiliate marketing mentorship.

His earnings are in real time and he would post withdrawals of more than 20 thousand naira.
I'm talking 50 thousand, 80 thousand.
Once, he posted a screenshot of his cumulative earnings on his dashboard.
I was like, wow! 😲
More than a million naira!
I was wondering how many years he had been in the business.
Then one day, he added a caption saying that it was his second year of business.

Year 1 was probably filled with uncertainty, low sales and frustration.
But year 2 is now different for him.
You may be like,
"Duon, what's your point?"
My point is, great and consistent achievements come from sticking with something long enough to make it work for you.
And if your 'why' for doing it is very strong, it's not so hard to be consistent with it.

Something happened yesterday.
One of my friends confided in me about a problem she was facing at home.
In summary, her own father controls her adult life and she's sick of it.
She's tired of letting him be in control of her actions and decisions.

As she narrated her experience, I couldn't help but wonder about something.
I wondered about how much control we give people over us.
She finally said, "enough is enough"
That's the breaking point.
Her anger will fuel her decision to change her situation.
And I believe it will work out for her.
She believes in prayer but has also made up her mind to move when the time comes.
Whether her dad likes it or not.
Her decision may likely change her life for the better.
And it brings me to my own life.

When I want to do something out of the ordinary, I first think of all the ways it could go wrong.
This is no tip, it's just me telling you how my mind works.
My mind starts to craft out the worst case scenario.
How my plan will not work.
How I may end up in extreme pain.
How I may get criticized.
Sometimes, my mind plays out the scene in my head.
No jokes here 😅

Then it's time for me to decide.
Do I still go through with it?
In most cases, yes.
Other times, I just procrastinate.
But if it causes me more pain to put it off, I just do it.
When I decide to go through with it, I make a plan.

Since my mind has played out all the ways it could go wrong, I come up with ways to manage or tackle it.
My dad will get mad at me? I prepare what I will say.
My phone battery runs low? I come up with ways to minimize usage.
I forget a detail? I make sure to keep all details where I can find them.
Plan A doesn't work? I have plans B, C and D 😄

It's all about feeling the fear but doing it anyways.
What could possibly go wrong?
Everything.
But we keep going anyways.

Before I share today's quotes with you, I want to explore a certain thought.
Hmm 🤔
Has anyone told you that you look like someone they know?
Yes? No?
If yes, how do you usually feel?
Do you smile?
Or get confused?

I can't count how many times this has happened to me.
It even happened yesterday at my tutorial center!
Sometimes, people will ask me,
"Do you know this person?"
They call a name.
I would shake my head, "no".
Then they will be like,
"Really? You look like her sister".
I just smile and say I don't know the person.
It even gets weirder in my area.

There's this girl living next to my house....the neighbors.
My dad is friends with her dad.
Let's call her dad, Mr Aido.
Although they came from different tribes, they regard themselves as brothers.

But the girl and I?
We're not that close.
But people think we're sisters because according to them, we "look alike".
Everytime, they would ask if I'm Mr Aido's daughter.
Our neighbor.
Then the people beside them would tell them I'm not the one.
The person would be exclaim, in their surprised local dialect,
"Wow...they resemble each other!"
But they don't say the same for the girl's older sister.

Pretty freaky, if you ask me 😬
But I learn to live with it.
I've also noticed it in my pictures.
I look completely different in a different hairstyle, pose or lighting.
Like a different person.
What if I use makeup?
Maybe I would look like Lady Gaga?
Nah! Not a chance! 

Alright, alright.
Enough exploration.
It's time for today's quotes.
Today's reads 📚
* 365 Days With Self-discipline by Martin Meadows (as usual!)
* Everybody Writes by Ann Handley (Thursday's read)
Now, Ann Handley's book is about how to write engaging content, and you may not be a content writer like me.
But you may find some things helpful.
It's good to keep an open mind.

Highlights: By highlights, I mean the parts I highlighted in the chapter or section I read.
(Just clarifying 🙂)

365 Days With Self-discipline
📌 Day 51: On Taking Action In Spite Of Potential Criticism

"People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it"
Quote from Unknown.

"Self-discipline isn’t only about forcing yourself to do things that are unpleasant for the sake of long-term goals.
It’s also about resisting the
temptation to stay mediocre in order to avoid criticism."

"True, staying in your comfort zone is safe and there’s little criticism you’ll encounter along the way.
However, there’s a high price associated with this choice: you won’t ever get to change your current situation."

My take on this?
Staying in your comfort zone sucks most of the time 😑
Doing the hard thing is what gets your heart racing and your mind engaged.
That's when you feel alive!

Everybody Writes
📌 Follow A Writing GPS

"Process is one of those things that in many parts of life I consider hopelessly boring and mind-numbing.
Like peeling the skins of raw tomatoes. Or scrubbing dirt from beets.
But in writing, process is necessary, because you need a road map to get you to where you need to be."

"......good writing takes planning and preparation; it doesn't just emerge, fully formed, out of the head of Zeus.
Or your own head, for that matter."

"Don't discount your own experience; at the same time, don't rely exclusively on it.
Use yourself as one of your sources if you have relevant experience."

This applies to writing for products or services, blog content web copy or what have you.
This doesn't apply my blog tho 😏
I ain't writing this for money.
I'm building that consistency muscle.
And I hope you are too.

Here's a challenge 💪
Pick an activity you want to do everyday.
Something that will benefit you spiritually, financially or emotionally or physically.
Working out, reading, taking a long walk....

It's your pick.
Try to do it for 30 days straight.
If possible, draw a calendar and mark an X on the days you do it.
You might just be on your way to forming that positive habit.

Thanks for reading, my friend 😊
If this is the first post you're reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks for joining me on this journey of exploration.
I have 50 more posts you can check out.
Some with weird titles, I assure you.
Wanna see for yourself?
Visit the main website.

I'm Duon Ada and I sometimes call myself the eccentric writer.

I'm documenting 2025.

And I'll see you tomorrow 😉