The Encounter With E

It's day 353 of documenting 2025.

12 days to 2025!

Friday started with prayers and me spraying my towel that I had washed last night. Then later on, E replied to my chat.

Remember E from the last post?

Yeah...that guy.

I had asked if I could see him before he went to his place.

He said yes...and told me to meet at a popular junction, close to where we usually have GS lectures.

On the way to the spot, my prayer was, "Lord help me with this. If I have to forget this friendship, so be it...because I can't lose You".

And I had made up my mind to be as serious as possible, no smiling.

"Don't know what them guys got in their mind" was the thought.

With all the experience I've had with guys and how deceptive they can be, I didn't see E any different from them. 

But I was in for a surprise.

I got to the spot and called him.

He picked and told me that he was still occupied with something, that I should take a bike to a particular lodge. His lodge.

This raised my suspicion.

My mind was all,

"Girl! Your mama told you not to be going to no man's place!"

"Are you crazy? What are you doing?"

"Girl! Turn back!"

I felt like I was making a mistake, something I would regret for the rest of my life....with the way my mind amplified the fears. Still I went.

I got to his lodge and made up my mind to stay outside.

No going into a man's room.

Turns out, we had to take the stairs to get to his room. He told me to follow him upstairs. My heart started racing.

Then I hesitated to go.

I told him that I wasn't coming upstairs....that whatever he wanted to explain, he could do so downstairs.

He insisted that I come upstairs, saying that he couldn't stand while talking.

My guard went up immediately as I followed him upstairs.

Whatever happens, I'll defend myself. 

We got to his room, which he shared with two other guys that were not around. I know them tho...

Anyways, we got to his room on the first floor, which was close to the balcony.

It was easy to look out and see the activity outside, and possibly to look away from his face.

I sat down and waited for him to finish up what he was doing, as I glanced at my phone.

Somehow, I didn't feel scared anymore.

There came a feeling of ease. The tension was gone for some reason.

Then he sat in front of me and the discussion started.

Before I go any further, let's look at highlights.

I add my take, and then continue with the juicy gist. Let's go! 😁

365 Days With Self-discipline

📌 On Glancing at Your Smartphone 

"If every moment of potential boredom is relieved with a quick glance at your smartphone, then your brain has likely been rewired to a point where it’s not ready for deep work; even if you regularly schedule time to practice this concentration."

Quote by Cal Newport

If you have a tendency to glance at your smartphone every few minutes or the thought of leaving your smartphone in another room for a few minutes gives you an anxiety attack, it’s time to embrace your self-control to defeat this habit.

It sounds like a little insignificant thing, but in fact it’s a sign of a deeper issue: your brain has been rewired in such a way that you physically cannot resist the urge to periodically check your phone.

Consequently, you can’t maintain focus for more than a few minutes, and I don’t think I need to explain why this ruins your productivity.

Start slowly. Instead of checking your phone every five minutes, wait for ten minutes. 

Then, when it gets easier, try twenty. Thirty. Forty. One hour.

Again, it’s a tiny bad habit, but working on it presents a valuable exercise in growing your willpower. It will also eventually improve your ability to engage in deep work that you’d otherwise keep interrupting by checking your phone every few minutes.

I don't know about others, but I can do without my phone for a day.

I can leave it somewhere and go out, without feeling anxious.

Funny thing is,

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to use a phone....like seriously! 😅

If I could just have a device for calls and a laptop for work, I'm good.

Damn the smartphone!

That's by the way...

My point is, I can do without my phone for a day. Is it the same for you? 🤔

Alright....let's get back to the story.

We had a very serious discussion at first, with him asking questions about the messages I sent to him last night and me answering with all honesty.

At some point, I whispered in my soul, "Abba, kill those feelings now".

I answered his questions and then he started to say his part.

He said that he doesn't have anything in mind towards me.

He said that as I developed feelings for him, he doesn't feel the same way.

Then he said something that made me remember a former encounter.

He said for him to even develop feelings for me, it would take him more than a year...probably two years.

Then I understood why a guy I told about my feelings earlier this year, didn't feel the same way.

Not because he didn't like the idea of a relationship, but because it was going to take time.

It was an aha moment 😌

E then talked about the competition he invited me to.

He said that I'm not the only one he has invited...that he has invited quite a number of people before me, and they all benefited from it.

He also mentioned that he had invested time to train me, especially for the choir ministration.

And he had also told his master and parents that he would bring some friends back. Then I felt bad....because I saw how my decision was going to cost him.

At the end, the tension eased up.

I realized that he was a truly genuine person with no ulterior motives. 

My spirit felt it too.

I'm going to take him at his word...and God being with us, took him at his word too.

We shared stories and I thanked him for being honest.

That's when I found out that he's three years older than me.

I also told him, after admitting it...that my decision to not go, was due to fear, because I thought of the idea as a good one when he mentioned it at first.

I told him that I just needed to be sure of who I was dealing with, and if he's still up for it, I could still go.

I said I wasn't going to smile right?

I ended up laughing.

I said I wasn't going to continue the friendship, right?

I ended up building a stronger bond with my friend. 

It's the Lord's doing 🙏

Well, right now I'm in his house...after going for my first choir practice. 

Twas quite interesting.

An all expense-paid trip, with food and accomodation taken care of?

Count me in! 

I met his parents who were very friendly and accommodating. It reminded me that wonderful people come from humble backgrounds like that of E.

Tomorrow is another day...in a friend's place. Far from my hostel....unknowing to my dad and brother. I had to skip an election and cultural practice for this trip, and I'll say it was worth it.

(Makes me sound like a wayward chick, yeah? I'm not tho.... 😄)

I think that would be all for today's documentation.

Thanks for reading 🎀

The experience at my friend's place is second to none...and I'm eating good food.

Let's see how it goes.

Somehow, I don't feel distant from God. Some people I know will definitely disagree with this 😏

But what was intended to be an ordinary day turned out to be extraordinary, in an unexpected way.

Gist continues tomorrow...

See you in the next post 💜