Letting Go (Spiral Of The Mind)

It's day 171 of documenting 2025

What a week! 😪
It's a Friday for me....not a Friyay (the exciting kind).
Just woke up from the nap I took after I got home.
(And yeah....I'm just typing by 2:45 in the afternoon...)

This job is taking its toll...much so that it's forcing me to consider giving up my online work.

I don't know if it's stress...but my mind seems like a chaotic environment.
And I'm still bad at prioritizing.
What's more important?
What comes first?

I whipped up a poem to describe how I feel.
It's called "Spiral Of The Mind"

I’ve been pouring time into what seems important, 
But somehow, it doesn’t settle deep. 
Tasks ticked, calls made, boxes checked
Yet my thoughts slip through like sand. 

Lately, my mind feels like a spiral, 
Looping in circles I can’t seem to break. 
I forget more than I remember, 
And even silence feels loud with unrest. 

It’s not pain. It’s not noise. 
It’s just… chaos in disguise. 

You see? 🥲
Chaos in disguise...

Anyhoo...life goes on.
I'm just grateful that the weekend is here already.
Maybe I can reset before Monday.

Let's move on to today's section.
For Highlights, I had to share the whole note, so you would understand.
Coincidentally, it's about stress 😬

365 Days With Self-discipline
📌 On Stress

"Stress — including negative emotions like anger, sadness, self-doubt, and anxiety; shifts the brain into a reward-seeking state. You end up craving whatever substance or activity your brain associates with the promise of reward, and you become convinced that the “reward” is the only way to feel better."
Quote by Kelly McGonigal

So true...🤔
I think this person is a psychologist or someone in that field.
The explanation is straight to the point.

There are two types of stress: distress , which is negative stress in the common usage of this word, and eustress , the good type of stress in which you respond to stress with healthy, positive feelings (for example, during an athletic competition or riding a roller coaster).

Distress, and particularly chronic distress, is one of the biggest enemies of willpower.
When you’re under stress, your ability to withstand pressure diminishes. This means that you can no longer exhibit the same kind of mental toughness and self-discipline as when you’re your normal self.
It’s like expecting your car (you) to have the same acceleration when there’s a semi-truck (stress) attached to it.

As Kelly McGonigal notes, stress puts you into a reward-seeking state where your priority ceases to be about personal growth (such as overcoming a temptation), and becomes all about gaining comfort, often at the expense of your long-term goals.
And it makes a lot of sense: why would a person who’s stressed out seek more stressors?

Chronically elevated levels of stress will not only have a negative effect on your health and well-being, but also on your entire life.
If you often get stressed, make it your priority to relax daily, even if it’s just five minutes of cuddling with your partner, reading a book, or taking a short walk.

In addition to that, avoid setting any new challenges for your willpower and conserve your energy when you’re going through a tough period.
It’s better to deal with the stress first and then (having recovered) focus on personal growth yet again, than it is to put too much burden on your shoulders and collapse under the weight.

Yeah...I get it.
To my understanding, someone who's stressed needs to recover before working out their personal growth.
This really relates with me.

Yesterday, I had a chat with ChatGPT on why things may seem chaotic.
I was in the same state of thought as when I came up with the poem.
(ChatGPT refined of course....)

The Chat

Me: Why is it that when we try to fit a lot into our lives, it feels like chaos?

ChatGPT: Because the mind craves order, rhythm, and space to breathe. When everything piles up, it loses clarity—and that’s when the noise sets in.

Me: By 'noise', what do you mean?

ChatGPT: The constant inner chatter—racing thoughts, self-doubt, reminders, pressure. It's the mental clutter that drowns out calm and focus.

Me: How do I clear up the mental clutter and regain focus?

ChatGPT: Start by slowing down—breathe, pause, and notice what your mind is holding onto.
Give yourself permission to let go of what’s not urgent or true. Focus on one thing at a time. Presence clears the fog.

Me: How about the fact that you have to be available in the online space, as well as in the real world?

ChatGPT: That split can be exhausting. The mind isn’t wired to be fully present in two places at once. Constant availability online pulls your attention in fragments, leaving less energy for the world around you.
It helps to set boundaries—define when you're “on” and when you’re allowed to just be.

Me: Yeah....tell me about the split being exhausting 😩
At this point, will it be wise to let one of them go?

ChatGPT: It might be. When both worlds constantly compete for your attention, something starts to give—usually your peace.
Letting one go, or at least loosening your grip on it, can give you room to breathe again. It’s not about quitting, it’s about choosing what truly nourishes you right now.

Me: So for me, the real world is where I need to be right now...
I can still be online but it's giving me more of that mind chaos.

ChatGPT: Then trust that instinct. The real world grounds you—your senses, your presence, your clarity. The online space can wait or be reshaped to serve, not drain you. Give your mind permission to breathe where it feels safest.
That’s not stepping back; it’s stepping into what matters most right now.

Me: And I'm sure this relates to goals, right?
Me trying to achieve too much at a time....is what is causing this imbalance.
Does that make sense?

ChatGPT: Absolutely, it makes perfect sense. Trying to juggle too many goals at once scatters your energy and focus.
When everything demands your attention, your mind can’t settle, leading to that chaos you feel. Prioritizing what truly matters helps you find balance and peace.

Me: But there might be a counter argument.
Some may say I'm trying to be lazy...that I can't handle the rigors of online work and try to balance things.

ChatGPT: That’s a common worry, but it’s not about laziness. Recognizing your limits and choosing what’s best for your well-being is actually strength, not weakness. It’s smart to protect your mental health so you can perform better in the long run.
Balancing is not about doing everything—it’s about doing what truly aligns with your goals and energy.

Me: Thanks for the reassurance 😌
Could you give a conclusion to our discussion....maybe like a "cure" for the problem illustrated in the poem?

ChatGPT: Absolutely.
The cure lies in gentle self-awareness—listening to your mind and heart, slowing down, and choosing focus over frenzy. Embrace what truly matters, let go of unnecessary noise, and give yourself permission to rest.
In that stillness, clarity returns, and your spiral unwinds into peace. It’s not about doing more, but doing what feeds your soul.

What feeds my soul....
That's a wonderful way to put it 🙂
I hope you learned a thing or two from the chat...or you were at least reminded of some things.

This is where the post ends.
Thank you for reading 🎀
One thing is for sure, I have to keep documenting.
The wins, losses....and even stresses.
And I hope to see you on day 365.

By the way, I would like to hear from you, concerning your thoughts on this blog.
I created a short survey just for that.
7 questions...3 minutes max of your time. See it here.
And you can catch up on former posts by visiting the main site, Documenting 2025.
I'll see you there 😉

I'm Duon Ada.
I'm documenting 2025,
And I'll see you tomorrow.
Ciao 💕