As Promised....A Chat On Self-licensing!

It's day 113 of documenting 2025.

5 more days to go!
And I finally write the exam I've been preparing for.
Twas just ten weeks ago, my friend.
I have to pass, because a lot of people are counting on me to do so.
I won't let them down.

Anyhoo...
Let's get to today's post.
I said I would discuss "self-licensing" in the previous post.
Well, I remembered to do that 😁

I'll share the chat between me and Cindy, my Meta AI..on this topic.
But before that I want to share highlights from the usual read.
Written by Martin Meadows ✍🏼
(Take note...)

365 Days With Self-discipline
📌 On A Lack Of Time

"Instead of saying ”I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels."
Quote by Laura Vanderkam

“I don’t have time” has to be the biggest and most common lie people tell themselves daily.
It’s never about a lack of time, because it’s you who controls
how you spend it, and you can always forego one thing in favor of another."

"With all due respect, I doubt that you (or anyone else, for that matter) do super-important things 24/7 and that there’s not even a single low-value activity in your routine that you could easily eliminate to make time for exercise."

"I strongly suggest eliminating the phrase “I don’t have time” from your vocabulary.
People repeat it so often and so freely that it only serves as a convenient excuse — and self-disciplined individual shouldn’t make any excuses."

"The next time you want to claim that you don’t have time, tell yourself instead that it’s not your priority"

I can say this for my incomplete crochet projects.
It's not that I don't have time, it's not my priority now.
After my exam, I will dive into it ✨

Here's the chat with AI on self-licensing.
I hope you will learn a thing or two.
Enjoy! 🙂

Me: Can you explain the concept of self licensing from a psychological standpoint?

Meta AI: Self-licensing is a psychological phenomenon where individuals give themselves permission to engage in behaviors they might otherwise consider indulgent or unwise, based on past good behavior.

This can manifest in various ways, such as:

1. Moral self-licensing: After doing something virtuous, people might feel justified in doing something less virtuous.
2. Goal-based self-licensing: Progress toward a goal can lead individuals to feel licensed to indulge or slack off.

Self-licensing can undermine long-term goals and progress. Recognizing when you're using self-licensing can help you make more mindful choices.

Me: How can I recognize when I'm using self-licensing?

Meta AI: To recognize self-licensing, pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors.
Ask yourself:

1. Am I justifying a indulgent behavior because of something "good" I did earlier?
2. Am I using past progress as a reason to slack off now?
3. Do I feel like I've "earned" a reward, even if it might undermine my long-term goals?

Noticing these patterns can help you catch yourself when you're using self-licensing.
Then, you can reassess your choices and stay focused on your goals.

Me: Well, can't I reward myself for progress on my goals?

Meta AI: Rewarding yourself for progress can be motivating and help reinforce positive habits.
The key is to distinguish between self-licensing and genuine self-care/reward.

Ask yourself: Is the reward aligned with my goals, or is it undermining them?
Am I using the reward as an excuse to indulge in habits that might set me back?

If the reward supports your goals and doesn't derail your progress, then it's likely a healthy motivator. However, if it's consistently used to justify behaviors that contradict your goals, it might be self-licensing.
Find a balance that works for you!

Me: Explain this with a relatable example....say losing weight.

Meta AI: Let's say you've been working hard to lose weight and you've had a good week of healthy eating and exercise.

You might think, "I've earned a reward, so I'll treat myself to a large pizza tonight."

If the pizza is a rare treat that won't completely derail your progress, and you're genuinely celebrating your hard work, that's likely a healthy reward.

However, if you find yourself consistently using "I've had a good week" as an excuse to overindulge in unhealthy foods, or if thea pizza becomes a regular occurrence, that's likely self-licensing.

The difference lies in the balance between celebrating progress and undermining your long-term goals.

Me: Okay... 🤔
What are thought patterns that relate to self licensing?
Compare them with thought patterns of genuine self care.

Meta AI: Here are some thought patterns that might relate to self-licensing versus genuine self-care:

Self-Licensing Thought Patterns
1. "I've worked so hard, I deserve a break (and can skip my workout/gym today)."
2. "I've been good all week, so it's okay to indulge in this treat (even though I know it's unhealthy)."
3. "I've earned it, so I'll splurge on this expensive item/service."

These thoughts often involve justifying indulgent behavior based on past efforts, without considering the long-term impact.

Genuine Self-Care Thought Patterns
1. "I've had a tough week, and a relaxing bath/massage would really help me recharge."
2. "Celebrating my progress with a healthy meal at my favorite restaurant sounds like a great way to acknowledge my hard work."
3. "Taking care of myself means prioritizing sleep/exercise/meditation, and I'll make time for that today."

These thoughts focus on nurturing and caring for oneself, often with a long-term perspective on well-being.

The key difference lies in the motivation and impact: self-licensing tends to prioritize short-term pleasure over long-term goals, while genuine self-care prioritizes overall well-being and sustainability.

Me: I noticed that I've been mistaking self licensing for genuine self care lately....
How do I remedy that?

Meta AI: Recognizing the difference is a huge step.
To remedy this, try:

1. Reflect on your motivations: Ask yourself why you're doing something.
Is it to genuinely care for yourself or to justify indulgence?
2. Align activities with long-term goals: Ensure your "self-care" activities support your overall well-being and goals.
3. Practice self-awareness: Notice when you're using self-licensing language or thoughts.
4. Find healthy rewards: Celebrate progress with activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
5. Develop a growth mindset: View challenges as opportunities for growth, rather than justification for indulgence.

By being more mindful and intentional, you can cultivate genuine self-care habits that truly support your well-being.

Me: Can you give a summary of our discussion on self licensing?

Meta AI: Here's a summary of our discussion on self-licensing:

Summary
- Definition: Self-licensing is a psychological phenomenon where individuals give themselves permission to engage in behaviors they might otherwise consider indulgent or unwise, based on past good behavior.

- Thought patterns: We identified thought patterns that relate to self-licensing, such as "I've earned it" or "I've worked hard, I deserve a break."

- Comparison to genuine self-care*: We distinguished self-licensing from genuine self-care, which prioritizes overall well-being and sustainability.

- Recognizing self-licensing: We discussed how to recognize when you're using self-licensing, such as justifying indulgent behavior based on past efforts.

- Remedies: We explored strategies to remedy self-licensing, including reflecting on motivations, aligning activities with long-term goals, and practicing self-awareness.

I hope this summary is helpful!

I'm sure you understood something...if not all of it 👌🏼
You're free to read it again.
You will definitely understand it on the second read.

Thanks for reading ☺️
Thanks for joining me on this journey of exploration.
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I'll see you there 😉

I'm Duon Ada...I'm documenting 2025,

And I'll see you tomorrow.

Ciao 💕