On Maintaining Composure

It's day 203 of documenting 2025.

What a day! 

It was quite tiring at school...but I got all my work done.

And I have the day off tomorrow...as well as the whole school.

It's to allow everyone get ready for the party on Thursday.

I'm going to probably sleep late tonight and work on a few projects...or study.

Then sleep in and enjoy my day off.

And finally get ready for the D-day...when I'll be the busiest I can ever be on the job.

It's the last week, so I can handle it.

Let's get into Highlights for today....and then I'll share a story from the ongoing series behind the scenes....

Ursula's story.

365 Days With Self-discipline 

📌 On Maintaining Composure

"Those who have accomplished the greatest results are those who never lose self-control, but are always calm, self-possessed, patient, and polite."

Quote by Ryan Holiday

Today's Highlights is going to be packed... because I shared the whole note.

If I just picked out parts of it, you may not get the lesson.

So, read on.

Being calm, self-possessed, patient, and polite are all traits that everyone interested in building self-discipline should aspire to have. 

Let’s go through them one by one and offer some pointers on how to develop them.

Staying calm means being free of nervousness, anger, and other negative emotions that can take away your self-control and make you do things you’ll later regret. 

In essence, staying calm comes down to mindfulness and the clear logical thinking that comes from that.

One of the best ways to become calmer is to engage in some type of a meditative practice. 

Whether it’s traditional meditation, engaging in a high-focus sport, or doing something that captures your full attention, it will serve as an exercise in mindfulness and thinking clearly. 

Being calm is a skill; the more

often you put yourself in a calm state, the easier it will be to access and maintain it in your everyday life.

Being self-possessed means that you can navigate difficult situations with grace and remain in control of your feelings in circumstances in which a person lacking such an ability would lose their head. 

By far the best way to develop this ability is by deliberately putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. 

The more you stretch your comfort zone, the less future situations will overwhelm you. 

A person who’s already been in a disagreeable situation several times, out of their own volition, will be less likely to lose their head when they involuntarily find

themselves in such circumstances in the future.

A person who’s unable to remain patient; whether it’s with other people or when waiting for results to materialize; is more likely to make impulsive decisions that will sabotage their long-term goals. 

You need to train patience like a muscle. 

One way in which you can exercise your patience muscle is by engaging in activities that require patience or by learning a skill that takes a long time to develop.

Slow progress will help you develop more humility and understand that some things can’t be rushed, no matter how hard you try to push them.

Being polite seems unrelated to the topic of self-discipline, but there’s one aspect of this trait that does affect your self-control: treating everyone as your equal. 

People who are impolite are in essence putting themselves above others, thinking that they’re superior. 

This arrogance can lead them to unnecessarily putting themselves in situations that test their willpower, which carries a higher risk of failure.

How do you become more polite? Easy. Assume that you aren’t better than others and try to learn from everybody. 

It’s impossible to be impolite toward a person you consider your mentor, because that’s what every person can become for you when you embrace humility.

Hmm...

Quite some food for thought, right?

The quad traits...that are important for a self-disciplined person to have.

How many of them do you already possess? 🤔 

Be honest on this.

And it's okay if don't even have one...all you have to do is learn.

As for me, I can say I'm polite and a bit self-possessed.

I'm learning to be calm and patient...and there's no shame in admitting that.

Anyways...

On to the next section.

Fiction 

The One Who Reminds Me

Ursula hadn’t planned on walking that night.

The power was out again, and the fan had stopped humming its usual lullaby. 

The heat pressed in like a second skin. So she left the house barefoot, her flowy dress whispering against her ankles, unsure of where she was going but certain she couldn’t stay still anymore.

The town slept, but the sky didn’t.

Stars blinked faintly behind clouds, and the air smelled of distant rain and old things. 

She took the back path that curved behind the school and led to the small bridge; the one nobody used unless they had nowhere else to be.

That’s when she saw him.

Or it.

A figure....cloaked in something dark and simple; standing quietly by the bridge, as if it had been waiting for her.

Ursula slowed. Her instincts didn’t scream; they whispered.

“You know this one.”

Not from memory, but from the ache in her bones.

The figure turned slightly, and though its face was shadowed, she felt seen. 

Not by her clothes, or her silence, or her reputation.

But by something deeper.

By everything she tried to hide.

“You walk like someone who forgets,” the figure said.

Its voice wasn’t threatening. 

It was ancient....like wind through tall trees.

“Forget what?” she asked.

“That you won’t always have time. That endings don’t wait for you to feel ready. That the versions of you you’ve abandoned are still watching.”

She didn’t know what to say, only that her heart was doing strange things.

All her masks, all the effort to stay composed; they didn’t work here.

“What are you?” she asked, even though part of her already knew.

“I’m the one who reminds you.”

Memento Mori.

Not a warning, but a whisper.

Not death, but the reminder of it. 

Of limits. Of meaning. Of time.

He didn’t stay long. Just enough to plant the question in her spirit; the one she couldn’t ignore anymore:

“What would you be doing differently….if you remembered you won’t always be here?”

By the time she turned to speak again, the figure was gone. 

But something inside her had changed shape.

A softness. A clarity.

Not peace….but direction.

The concept behind this story...is one that I've used before in a story shared in a previous post.

The concept of, "Remember, you must die" or "Memento Mori" is a reminder that we are to live our lives in a meaningful way.

A way that impacts others.

I'm working on that...

And I hope you're working on it as well 🙂

This is where I draw the curtains on today's post.

Thanks for reading 🎀 

I'm Duon Ada.

I'm documenting 2025,

And I'll see you tomorrow.

Ciao 💕