Choose One: Instant Or Delayed

It's day 92 of documenting 2025.

It's officially 24 days before the commencement of my exam nationwide.
A first-timer would think of it as scary....but that's not me.
I ain't no first timer....I've written the exam before but couldn't use the result to gain admission.
Story for another day......

How yesterday went?
Let me start with that.
Then I'll probably end with the highlights.
Sounds good?
Let's get straight into it!

Yesterday I started practicing the questions on an actual computer.
Since the exam is mainly a CBT (computer based test), it's important for candidates to know how to use a system.
Well, the head of my tutorial center told me I could start with CBT practice.

That was when we ended the lessons for yesterday.
I was so excited that I told him I wanted to start immediately.
I got to his office and his assistant helped to set up the practice exam.

I didn't finish it tho...
They had to close because it was already past 7pm.
Well, it was fun to have a feel of what the practice exams looked like on a computer....not my smartphone alone.

That's one...
The second thing?
My friend called me last night.
I mean the one that I usually walk with on Sunday evenings.
Yeah! The one I wrote a former post for, pretending to be him.

So, he was telling me about a friend of his and how he blocked the friend on Whatsapp, who later called his normal line.
He told me he felt guilty about blocking the friend in the first place.
And asked me if he should tell the friend his fault.
I answered in the affirmative and we later ended the conversation.

But our conversation got me thinking....
Then went to Meta AI and asked some questions.
(I'm quite inquisitive these days 😄)
Here was how the AI chat went:

Me: What advice would you give to someone who is always feeling guilty about removing someone out of their life?

Meta AI: Feeling guilty about setting boundaries or removing someone from your life is totally normal.

Here's the thing: prioritizing your own well-being and happiness is not selfish, it's necessary.

Remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. If someone is draining your energy, causing you stress, or making you feel bad about yourself, it's okay to take a step back or distance yourself.

Guilt often comes from feeling like you're abandoning or hurting someone else. But honestly, you can't control how others feel.
What you can control is how you feel and how you choose to invest your time and energy.

So, here's what I want you to do: practice self-compassion.
Remind yourself that it's okay to put yourself first and make decisions that align with your values and goals.

When you start to feel guilty, ask yourself: "What am I gaining by holding onto this relationship/situation?" and "What would my life be like if I let go?"

Trust your instincts and remember that you deserve to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Me: By my description, would you say I'm someone who likes to hold on more than is necessary?

Meta AI: I think I can make an educated guess. It seems like you might be someone who struggles with letting go, whether that's due to feelings of guilt, loyalty, or something else.

You're aware of the guilt you feel when considering removing someone from your life, which suggests that you're reflective and care deeply about the people in your life.

Am I right?

Me: Yes, something like that
But I think it's better to take my mind off those that don't make me feel good and focus on those who do.
Is that right?

Meta AI: You're recognizing that holding on to relationships that don't serve you can be draining, and you're choosing to shift your focus to the people who uplift and support you.

That's a huge act of self-care and self-love! By prioritizing the relationships that bring you joy and positivity, you're creating space for more love, laughter, and growth in your life.

Remember, it's okay to acknowledge the past relationships and experiences, but you don't have to dwell on them. You get to choose where you focus your energy and attention.

Keep shining your light and surrounding yourself with people who make you feel good!

I love the part that said, "it's okay to acknowledge the past relationships and experiences, but you don't have to dwell on them."
For me, dwelling on past relationships was something I used to do.
I got to a point where I fell in love with memories of the person, not the person himself.

But things are different now.
I'm exposing myself to new experiences and meeting new people constantly.
So, if a relationship doesn't serve me in any way, I just stop it.
Not end it as in,
"Get the hell out of my life! 😠"
I mean "stop it", as in
"There's absolutely no reason to message this person anymore ❌"

I know the kind of relationships I want to keep with people.
Whether it's work or personal.
Most times, it starts with work and then moves to personal.
There are exceptions tho....
Like from my tutorial center....I don't work with any of them.
But I know the ones that have the potential of becoming a lasting friendship.
Only time will tell 😌

Relationships are so complicated, aren't they?
Very very very complicated 🙈
Matters of the heart ❤️
But one thing I will say is this 👇🏼

A relationship is like an investment.
Time is involved.
Time can be spent wisely or wasted on a relationship that adds nothing to you or the other person.
You can be everyone's friend, but not everyone can be your friend.
If you really want any relationship to last, be it a friendship or relationship, think long term.

Ask yourself....
* If I continue with this relationship, will I gain anything useful in the long run?
* Is this relationship draining me? 
* Is it empowering me?
If your answer to the second question is question is yes, talk to the person first about how you feel.
Then decide whether to end it or not.
It's your choice.

Wow! I sounded like a certified relationship expert back there.
(Lol with emoji...😅)
Nah...I'm just talking from experience.
Let's get into highlights before I start thinking of a career as a relationship counselor.

Let me not hype the book too much.
The title of the "Highlight Book" is called 365 Days With Self-discipline by Martin Meadows.
It's the accountability partner for this blog, which was formed for a 365 day writing challenge I decided to do.
I guess you understand why I "highlight" it everyday.

365 Days With Self-discipline
📌 On Pleasure Gained From Abstaining

"If you are struck by the appearance of any promised pleasure, guard yourself against being hurried away by it; but let the affair wait your leisure, and procure yourself some delay.
Then bring to your mind both points of time: that in which you will enjoy the pleasure, and that in which you will repent and reproach yourself after you have enjoyed it; and set before you, in opposition to these, how you will be glad and applaud yourself if you abstain."
Quote by Epictetus

"When you delay gratification, it’s tempting to think about it in black and white: delaying gratification means no pleasure now in exchange for pleasure in the future. Succumbing to instant gratification means some pleasure now at the expense of your future.
In reality, things aren’t that simple."

"When you successfully deny yourself something, even if you feel deprived of it, at the same time you’ll feel proud of acting in accordance with your values and long-term goals."

"Yes, you get to enjoy the reward right now, but this also means that you’re betraying your future self. You’re missing out on the positive feelings you could have gotten by successfully exerting willpower and in the end, the anger you feel at yourself might not be worth the initial pleasure."

Instant versus Delayed
Both, two kinds of gratification.
It all comes down to your personal choice.
Staying from something you know isn't good for you at the moment is better in the long run.
When you later get it, you will fully enjoy it and be proud that you waited for it.
I guess you understood that from the quotes above.
Well, that's my two cents.

Thanks for reading my friend 😊
The next post is always out by 7:30am (Nigerian Time).
You can do the math for your own time zone and check the main site.
Or you can just wait till you see the link on my Facebook page.

I'm Duon Ada, the eccentric writer.
I'm documenting 2025.
And I'll see you tomorrow.
Ciao 💕